[Dailydave] Neal Stephenson, the EFF and Exploit Sales

Ben Nagy ben at iagu.net
Thu Aug 16 01:32:32 EDT 2012

On Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 3:13 PM, Dr. Sandro Gaycken
<s.gaycken at fu-berlin.de> wrote

Henceforth, I respond, if at all, exclusively in sarcastic couplets.

"The 0day and the Ivory Tower"

Said Doctor One to Doctor Two, these 0days are a bore
I read about them just last year! They're too scary to ignore!
Said Doctor Two to Doctor One I know just what to do -
A brilliant plan from me and you, to save the whole EU!

With just 20 million Euro from each of 20 trusted friends,
we'll find the bugs and fix them all, then APT will end!
Of course the plan will never work without a total ban
on coding and compilers (unless we say they can)

But how on earth, said Doctor One, can governments be showed
that individual liberty is worth less than some code?

Gentlemen! Said Doctor Three, (he enters from the rear)
By my scraggy beard and ponytail, well I can help you there!
We'll simply call them cyberarms, to strike their hearts with fear,
and speak of Arabs killing folk, and such and such, all clear?

A cunning plot, good Doctor Three, but surely you recall
their allies in the USA, and justice there, for all?
Oh, don't mind us, said EFF, we're not as staid as that
Just let us sign a bill or two, this whole thing's in the hat!

So black was white and white was black
And code was arms, no-one could hack

The Doctors published articles, they gained respect and friends
And then got owned by clicking on

The End

Baby seals,


" Invididual security comes from impact containment, not patching bugs."

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